Iron Man 3 - Now with 100% more spoilers !!

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Iron Man 3 - Now with 100% more spoilers !!

Post by Massterloo » Tue May 07, 2013 9:35 am

Kulaf wrote:I want to spoil it. Save your fucking money. I think it is a joke how all of these "critics" are saying great things about Kingsley's portrayal of the Mandarin. What a joke.

Iron Man 3 - Now with 100% more spoilers !!
only 19.99

Iron Man 3 was just as good as the Star Trek reboot.

That said(and I loved every second I used to type it), I agree IM3 sucked. And kinda for the same reasons Star Trek sucked. Major realities get shit on. I know what I said about it in the first post, But I wanted others to trash it first. Sometimes I make a review and no one adds shit. Also if I Spoil/Trash a movie no one reads it till they see it anyway. Kulaf shitting himself was just a surprise bonus. I promise I will never with hold my true feelings again.

Now back to the movie.
I wanted to "just go with it" I was never a big Iron Man Comic reader. And lets face it, the Manderian is a second rated villian. He is actually kinda buff compared to other big name villians, But he is just that. not famous enuff to stir the pot if fucked with. BUT, the fact they felt they had to fuck with him in the first place.....and all the other screwy things in the movie....There is only so much a person, or people in general should take. I'm really fucking tired of hearing assholes say go with it. It's really just them saying here, a little more shit in your face, and you will love it.

1. Ben Kingsly was fucking awesome...For the shit role they gave him. I was expecting to see Tony take on a guy with power rings, and fucking shit up around them. It sucks to see The Joker is just a circus clown who loves children...Penn, and Teller are the force behind Voldemort. Jar Jar was Dart Vader. Could it have hurt the movie to have a small cut scene at the end where a shadowy figure is laughing in the background, and you see he has the same rings on the fake Manderian had?

2. Tony is an idiot. He threatens to go kill a terrorist, and doeas nothing but hang out in his house with his honey, and waits to be attacked. Ok, he did lock the door, even though he said he wasn't....but thats it.

3. The real Villian is some guy with a super soilder drug. For 99% of the people who take it the get Wolverine type regen. They can withstand do thier clothes. They can melt anny metal by touch. And are Spiderman level strong. Thanos is coming?! Who cares!!! We have an Army of 100,000 Wolverine-Dragon people. Give that guy a medal!

4. The only problem with the super soilder drug is that 1-3% become unstable, and if they take more after knowing they are...they blow up. To cover up for the asses that blow them selves up, The bad guy creates a terrorist to blame, as if that will solve the problem. No one will ever try to find your actor, or use facial reconition to do so. And lets wait for the lie to become problematic before we ask Tony to fix it. (Tony btw wrote out the part of the formula that cut the precentage from 90% death to 3%, ten years earlier in a drunken stupor. Fuck forbid you just ask him for help again....nope! we need a scapegoat).

5. At the end Tony gets heart surgery. Now he does't need the chest magnet/power source..........WAIT! He could have done this at anytime? Then why waste your time with the whole of the second movie? Hmmm, slow poisoning death...I like it, I'm emo like that. Heart surgery is for pussies.

6. Speaking of wasting time. Why wait for the end of the movie to gather your 40 plus armor army? He had them already built in his subbasement since before the movie started. They(all under Jarvis' control) should have been guarding his house so it does't get attacked, and blown up by helicopter. Maybe a couple just to guard his girlfriend? Naaaaaa fuck her, she'll be ok. Hey Air Force 1 gets blown up, and 11 people including the president need saving? Hell, Me, and my suits got this. No Problem.

7. The kid "buddy buddy" thing was it was just Disney being Disney, and a way to throw in even more prduct placement.
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Re: Iron Man 3 - Now with 100% more spoilers !!

Post by Kulaf » Tue May 07, 2013 3:27 pm

If they would have just used the Mandarin name with some nobody actor, I wouldn't have been as pissed off. But when you plant easter calling the group that tried to waste Tony in the first movie "The 10 Rings", and then hiring an actor the caliber of Ben Kingsley to play the role, and showing off the rings in the trailer/commercial........and then pull off the big swerve/fuck you.......that is just not forgivable in my book.

To a lesser extent I felt the same way about Bane in the last Batman movie, but at least there they didn't set you up and knock you down.

If you want a mindless action movie......Iron Man 3 delivers in spades. If you want something more than that, or think it will be close to the level of the Avengers, you will be completely disappointed.

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